Priorities
by xkittybluex
Summary: When the brothers split up on a hunt, Sam is delayed and arrives too late to back his brother up. Taking the circumstances into account Dean's life isn't the only thing there is to save. R


**This one is for my lovely little sis, who is and always has been a great help to me and wouldn't stop pushing me until this one was finished.  
You're awesome! This one's for you!**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the appearing characters._

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_**Priorities**_

The two men worked quickly, silently, careful not to be seen.

After all they couldn't be seen, being looked after by police, even the FBI. While the older one found that rather amusing, the younger one liked to point out that it complicated things for both of them. It was a source of disagreement between the two men, brothers, but then again what wasn't these times? Things had changed, and although both brothers hated to admit it, there was no denying it anymore. Not after the punches and the words meant to hurt. There was too much distrust between them now which left them both to wonder when things started to go that wrong.

Still - when they exchanged glances, when the older one jerked his head to the right, the other one knew what to do and complied with the silent order. He cocked the rifle in his hands and walked carefully round the corner while his brother took the left. There was another, smaller, gun in the back of his jeans, loaded with salt rounds, and in his boot the knife was pressing hard against the bare skin of his calf. Just in case.

It was kind of overkill though, seeing they were just going for a simple salt and burn. Merely some freaked out psycho killing off the local folks… well drowning them to be exact. Honestly, the man, Sam, couldn't even begin to understand these spirit things. Died of drowning back when they were alive and now doing the same to people now that they were dead… or undead. Whatever.

He sighed. Why were they even here? His brother had yet to learn about priorities as it seemed. Right now they needed to find that bitch Lilith and stop her from breaking these seals. Because if she managed to do that Lucifer would be freed and the world would end. Or so they were told. But still she needed to be sent back to hell. Why was that so difficult to understand for Dean? Sam sighed again, rubbing his forehead when the headache stroke again. He should be used to it by now… probably, but then again that would be too easy wouldn't it? And what was ever easy for a Winchester? Yeah, exactly. Nothing.

Moaning lightly he searched his pockets for the painkillers but stopped in mid-motion when he felt his cell vibrate. Normally he would have turned it off, it could give away their position to their 'prey' after all but this hunt was just way below their standards. He grabbed the phone, made a small glance on the caller id and picked up. "Ruby. What is it?"

"_I think I found something_", the voice on the other end of the line said without any further words of greeting or introduction,_ "Crop failure in Missouri, electrical storms, too._"

Sam stopped dead in his tracks. "You think it might be her?"

Lilith. After killing the yellow-eyed demon and learning about what really happened in Cold Oak that time, Sam's prime goal in life had been killing her. She had been the one who had held Dean's deal after Sam was brought back, she had been the one whose hell-hounds had finally killed Dean, bit, tore, clawed… Sam blinked rapidly, trying to get the picture out of his mind. It was still too real… too vivid…

"_Sam? You still with me?_" Her voice cut his trail of thought short. Glad for that he blinked another time, trying to get his attention back to their conversation. "Sorry, Ruby. I just got… distracted. What were you saying?"

There was a rush of static as she sighed at the other end of the line. "_Look, Sam, you said you wanted to kill…_"

"I still want to kill her, Ruby. It's just with Dean back it's become kind of… more complicated. You know that. He's suspicious… more aware. I can't just do things like I did when he was…", his voice trailed off and he took a deep breath. "I don't like lying to him, Ruby. He just… he doesn't deserve it. Not after everything he did…"

"…_he did for you?_", she interrupted impatiently. "_Sam… there's just no way you can tell him the truth. You know your brother, he would…_"

"I know, Ruby, I know… " Sam sighed. "I'll… I'll think something up."

"_Good boy._" He could almost _hear_ her smile. "_Anyway. About this demon thing… by the way- where is he at the moment? You know if he catches us on the phone…_"

"Uh… on the other side of the church I think, probably even on the other end of the cemetery. We're on a job right now. Don't worry he won't…"

"_You're what?_"

"Listen Ruby, I have to know…"

"_No you listen, Sam! I thought you were more of a professional than that. Talking on the phone like that could get you killed. That's not why I save your ass all the time. Call me when you're finished._" With that she hung up.

Sam cursed quietly but turned the phone off nonetheless and shoved it back into his pocket. Probably she had point. He continued his walking, forgetting about the headache and the painkillers. Dean trusted him to have his back and even though they had fought a lot lately, Dean was still family. Just go find that stupid grave already and torch the remains, Sam. _Then_ there's time to go after Lilith.

Maybe he had to learn about priorities, too after all. A small grin flashed across his lips, growing wider when he came round another corner. Smoke… which meant the job was already finished; Dean had been faster after all. The smile vanished though as he felt a pang of guilt. They were at his side of the cemetery not Dean's. He brushed the thought aside. No changing the situation now.

He started for the open grave. "Nice work, dude."

There was no answer. Starting to feel uneasy Sam quickened his pace. "Dean? You okay?"

Still no response. He took a deep breath and tried his best to get rid of the worry that was about to seize him. Dean was pissed. Of course he was, seeing as Sam had left him on his own to destroy the spirit. That was why he wasn't answering. Maybe he had even already left for the Impala, leaving Sam here on his own to regret letting him down. That must be it. Because there sure as hell was no way Dean was lying in some ditch, unconscious and injured. Because something like that was just SO not Dean.

Regardless of that, however, that was exactly what his older brother seemed to be doing right now.

Sam felt something constrict within his stomach as he hurried towards Dean's side, kneeling beside him, trembling hands searching for a pulse. "Dean, Dean… hey, man, open your eyes. Dean!"

And even though he pleaded with his brother to wake up, even though his movements got more panicked by the second, he knew that there would be none. Hunting this particular spirit for almost a week now he recognized the signs on its victims: wet clothes, pale skin, parted lips in a desperate attempt to breathe. Breathe… yeah the victims had been drowned, definitely. The police were probably still trying to figure out how it was possible for these people to have sea water in their lungs when there were more than eighty hours from the next shore. But the police didn't know anything did they? Sam and Dean had it figured in a matter of days. The last victim, however, a woman, died right before their eyes, them being unable to do _anything_. Her dead eyes still haunted him… wide open, glassy and panicked. God, at least Dean's eyes were closed. He didn't know if he could take that empty, dead look a second time…

Sam's hands dropped limply to his sides as he abandoned his search for a pulse - there was none, no breathing either. _Dammit Dean, don't do this to me!_

A broken sob escaped his lips. "No… no, no, no… this can't be real… this has got to be a dream, a nightmare… a really bad nightmare, but I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna wake up… right? Please, just let me wake up…"

But he knew that it wasn't a dream and it made him want to just curl into a ball and die right next to his brother. That was probably when the hunter in him took over and began CPR. Because even though the other people might have died, they were not Dean. And that sure as hell was not how Dean was going to die. Maybe he wouldn't exactly grow old with a wife and children and grandchildren, but that was just way too… no, that just couldn't be it.

Sam felt the moisture in his eyes, trying hard to keep them from spilling over. He was scared… screw that - terrified. Dean was a loud person to begin with he was never supposed to be that still. "Damn it!", Sam choked. "Don't you fucking dare to do this to me, Dean! One time not enough for you?!" He was almost screaming now, which would probably alert the spirit if it was still around for any reason. But Sam didn't care. He was desperate.

His whole focus was on his brother now, keeping circulation upright, breathing for him, but it didn't seem to work. Sam felt his eyes spill over, tears trailing down his cheek, dropping on the already wet material of Dean's jacket. In growing frustration he pounded his hands harder against Dean's chest … something cracked beneath his fist, probably a rib or two, he didn't care.

Dead… his brother was dead.

Another sob escaped Sam's parched lips as he sunk down on Dean's chest, finally giving up. "Why?", he managed between heavy sobs, not sure at whom the question was directed. "Why him…?"

And then knew. That it was his fault. His fault for letting his guard down, his fault for talking to Ruby while at that time… He couldn't finish that thought. Another sob wrecked his body. He would NOT bury Dean again. He'd rather die. Dying… how tempting that thought seemed right now.

But Dean seemed to have other plans. He always had other plans…

His body jerked violently beneath Sam's as he dissolved into a coughing fit, his head flung to the side as he coughed up water. Eyes fluttered open blinking confused as he took in Sam's sobbing form on his chest. "Sam…" The words came out hoarse and barely comprehensible. Dean cleared his throat and tried again. "Sam? ... Sammy?"

Lifting his hand seemed an enormous task but he managed, laying it gently on Sam's shoulder. "Hey, Sam…"

Sam jolted at the touch, his fingers flying to the gun in his jeans, eyes still wet with tears.

"Whoa buddy. Not going to shoot me, are you?"

"Dean?" Even at that single word Sam's voice broke.

Dean cleared his throat again. "Who else would it be?", he muttered. "What the hell happened?" He gave Sam's shoulder a light squeeze as his brother finally faced him, utter disbelief in his eyes, and let it drop again next to his torso. "Would you please get off me now, so I can get up?"

" … Of course. I'm sorry." Sam straightened, wiping his eyes in a traitorous motion.

Dean turned, looking the other way, not wanting to intrude his brother's privacy and not knowing how to deal with the situation. Sam was on his feet first reaching down a hand Dean gratefully took and pulling him up. He gasped as the motion seemed to aggravate his ribs and his wet clothes felt freezing and heavy against his skin. He swayed, but Sam's hand was there to steady him. "You okay?"

"Yeah I guess so." Dean swiped the hand away as he got his equilibrium. "I can't quite… the spirit came after me?" He looked questionably at Sam, but his brother just shook his head, still seeming a little shaken. "I wasn't there. I'm sorry."

Dean shook his head to clear his mind. "But I got the sucker, didn't I? Sure I did", he added after a short pause, "I guess I'd be dead if I hadn't."

Something crossed Sam's eyes Dean couldn't quite decipher but he chose to ignore it. "Let's skedaddle, bro. I don't like this cemetery. 'Sides I'm cold."

Sam nodded, hands massaging his temple, still seemingly a bit out of it.

"Hey", Dean's voice had got a softer tone to it now. "You still got that headache? You know there're some painkillers in my duffel…"

Sam laughed dryly, shaking his head.

Dean's eyebrows rose. "What's so funny?"

"It's just…" There was a short pause, before Sam seemed to find the right words. "It's just how can _you_ be worrying about _me_? I mean…", his voice trailed off.

Dean huffed. "Well, sorry for that then." He turned to lift his duffel bag off the ground, but as he swayed again, Sam took it from him, ignoring Dean's glare. But as Sam tried to get a steadying hand on his shoulder it was just too much. "Dude, quit it!", Dean growled.

Sam took the hand away. "Sorry."

"And quit apologizing!"

"I'm sor…" Sam stopped in mid-word as he received another glare. "You sure you alright?", he asked quietly.

"Yeah I'm sure." Dean slung his arm across his aching ribs and motioned his brother that they were going back to the car.

Sam followed without any further words, seemingly absorbed in his own thoughts. Something was wrong with the kid, Dean knew it. There were times where he would have pressed the matter, even risking a chick-flick moment as he did so, but these times were past. Therefore he settled on saying nothing anymore and they spent the rest of the way in silence.

Opening the door on the drivers side, his ribs aching in protest, Sam took the keys from him and shoved him aside. "Dude, what the hell!", Dean exclaimed.

"I'm driving." It wasn't a request, it was a statement.

Dean decided to leave it alone this time, because he was tired, and cold, and his ribs hurt like hell for whatever reason. He fetched a blanket from the backseat, again his ribs screaming in protest, and spread it over the seat, not wanting to spoil the leather. Sam looked at him in question, but Dean just shook his head and let himself fall into the seat with exhaustion.

As Sam didn't start the engine after a while Dean turned to him, irritated. "What're you doing?"

"I…", Sam fidgeted with his cell while he searched for words. "Shouldn't we take a break, Dean? I mean… we're both tired and…"

Dean cut him off. "I'm not tired, Sam… Well, I guess I am but if you brought us to the motel already I could go to sleep and wouldn't be tomorrow."

"But we could… you know maybe visit Bobby for a while."

"Bobby…? And why should we do that?"

Dean looked at Sam seemingly irritated, which made Sam sigh in exasperation. So maybe Dean didn't want to take a break, but he sure as hell did. And he wanted to see Bobby again, because Bobby always seemed to be able to make things right, or at least better, for a short period of time. Sam was still a bit shaken from earlier but he refused to let that show another time. Dean had made more than clear that he didn't do self-pity. Had he even realized that he…?

"I don't get what you want me to do, Sam", Dean burst out, leaning forward, which of course, irritated his ribs. The ribs Sam had broken, doing CPR. "What the hell! When the fuck did I break my freaking ribs?!"

"That was me… I guess." Sam wanted to apologize, but remembering that Dean had told him to quit it, he remained silent, not wanting to receive another glare.

"And why would you…", Dean's voice trailed off, shock registering in his green eyes. Sam almost laughed out loud in bitterness. Had it really taken him that long to get what happened? Dean shook his head in disbelief. Yeah, seemingly it had. "Oh", he muttered.

Oh? "Oh?! Is that all you got to say, Dean? Don't _oh_ me! You almost died…"

Dean blinked a few times. "Well, I didn't, did I?", he said then, anger back in his voice. "What do you want me to do? Cry?"

"No… I just… take it easy… please…?" Sam winced at the pathetic sound of his voice.

"What? Take holidays at Bobby's, maybe do some sightseeing while we're at it? What else?! Sam, these… _things_ don't take holidays so we won't either!"

"Cut me some slack, Dean, will you!?" Now Sam was getting angry, too. "You almost died. You can't even imagine how…"

"How that feels like? No? You think so?"

"Dean…"

"I remember, Sam, when you died – and you didn't _almost_ die, though we had that one, too, a few times – I pleaded with you to take it easy. Did you? No, you didn't. With the exact same reason. So can we just get it over with and drive back to the motel? Cause you know I'd really like to catch a few hours of shut-eye before we have to hit the road again."

"I… I'm just worried, Dean."

Dean's gaze grew softer. "I know, Sam. And I'm sorry I let my guard down and let it happen, cause I can imagine how you must have felt…"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't apologize, Dean. Because it was my fault. I should have been there, hell I should have had your back."

Dean leaned back in his seat, sighing. "Stop torturing yourself about everything."

"I'm not."

"You so are." A small smile slid across Dean's still a little bit too pale lips. He closed his eyes. "So stop it Sam, not your fault. Just some stupid spirit which is destroyed now anyway. No point bothering about it anymore."

"You're right… I guess."

"I'm older", Dean said, eyes still closed, "which means I'm always right."

"Sure you are", Sam returned with a bit of sarcasm, but finally smiling again, content his brother seemed to be alright now. He almost reached out to turn the ignition but then pulled his hand back. "Dean… I…", his voice trailed off as he felt his cell vibrate in his hand. A quick glance on the caller id told him it was, again, Ruby. If she was calling now it probably meant that she had found out more about these omens in Missouri…

Sam pushed the ignore button. He had a world to save alright and he _would_ save it. But right now he needed to save his own world, regardless of how trivial the matter might seem to anybody else. Because if he or Dean were to die, which seemed rather likely at the moment, he sure as hell did not want to part this way. Sam took a deep breath and let his hand holding the keys fall to his lap. "Dean, we have to talk…"

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_Thank you sooo much for reading this till the very end, I really appreciate that, seeing English isn't even my native tongue and I can therefore hardly keep up with all the other awesome writers here ;) anyway... reviews would be great. Doesn't take that long does it? ^^_

_love ya all,  
- tanne :p  
_


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